RESOLUTIONS FOR A RESPITE
It is an irrefutable fact of life and human nature that New Year’s resolutions for self-improvement on a grand scale are “made to be broken”. Ergo, instead of perpetuating my annual failures, this year I’m simply resolving not to concern myself with vexations over which I have no control, will never understand and don’t need to give a tinker’s dam (or damn) about anyway.
That they are of little relevance to my weekly effort to come up with reasoned analysis and comment on grander world events is a break I feel the need to take.
When I launched my “perch”, friends and fellow bloggers insisted I needed a Twitter account. I resisted and resolve to continue to do so because;
a) I’ll never figure the platform out,
b) my tendency to visceral reactions would earn me more opprobrium than I can handle, resulting in being “cancelled” faster than I commenced,
c) on available evidence, Twitter’s most ardent fans seem to have short attention spans and no interest in context, and
d) Elon Musk has proven my point. Anyone who renamed a universally identifiable brand to a symbol associated with pirates’ treasure maps (as in “X marks the spot”) and an illterate’s signature, was bound to turn it into a verbiage cesspool.
Was I wrong?
Another “treasure” I shall continue to avoid in 2024 is cryptocurrency, which I only recently realised is one word, as opposed to two, or hyphenated. It doesn’t exist in any tangible form, requires an unconscionable amount of fossil fuel-generated electricity to produce and seems to be a magnet for people who ought to know how to invest yet are greedy enough to hand over ludicrous sums of real money to 20-somethings with no investing track record (think Sam Bankman-Fried) and then whine with surprise when they lose it.
THE EINSTEIN TEST
My guidelines for which pundits and commentators are worthy of time and attention will be based on whether they meet Albert Einstein’s standard: “If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough.”
Having resigned myself to the depressing fact that news broadcasts now consist of fewer proper reporters and more “experts” who, whenever they spout on a subject about which I know something, seem to be the antithesis, I have therefore resolved to change the channel or hit the “Off” button the moment one of them begins a sentence with “Well”…”So”…”I mean”…“Obviously” or any combination of the preceding, inserts “like” where it is pointless, repeats the question to which he/she/whatever, has just been asked as part of the sought-after answer. The same applies to any whose voice rises at the and of a sentence, thereby turning it into an interrogative.
In fairness, I must further resolve to avoid the transgression I have just committed of breaking my personal record for a run-on sentence: by my count, 99 words. As Charlie Brown would say: “Good grief”.
If a news story includes quotes from, or an interview with anyone whose adjectives are limited to the over-worked and as often as not inappropriate, especially “awesome” , “amazing” or “empowering”, I shall turn the page or change the channel after the second infringement.
Use of “game-changer” and “toxic”, neither of which any longer have precise or even useful meaning, won’t get a second chance.
I may, or more likely may not be as well-informed as I had hoped, but neither will I be frustrated, irked or enraged. However, no one in my vicinity will be left wondering about my sanity because I won’t be barking invectives at said “expert” and the “news organisation” that saw fit to pass off the inchoate as useful.
It will also give me more time to seek information from proper news sources and relax with entertaining diversions from reality, including books and films. To that end, for yet another year I will avoid any that are based on a comic book series, or get rave reviews for being “inclusive”, which generally means the perpetually insulted are catered for at the expense of plot and memorable dialogue. Those praised with buzzwords of the day will also be ignored.
CLEARING THE HAZE
To free my mind of a minor perplexity, I resolve to stop wondering why automated call responses call the symbol # “the pound sign”, a form of social media which I do not and do not wish to understand or use, designates it “Hash Tag” and I was taught, in those dark age days when useful everyday knowledge was actually imparted to young minds, that it signified “Number”.
In the face of the crushing weight and importance of world events, Gaza above all, part of me says that writing about my whimsical “resolutions” is both frivolous and something of a cop-out for a putative presenter of a self-proclaimed “atypical perspective”.
But we all need a break from the vile and pernicious, which will be there, more or less unchanged tomorrow, next week, month and depressingly, most if not all of the coming year.
Comments are welcomed. Click CONTACT on the site header.
To receive e‑mail alerts to new posts, Click SIGN-UP on the header.
11 thoughts on “RESOLUTIONS FOR A RESPITE”
Love this. I so agree. Had a war on the word “basically” for a while, because it really is just a filler and doesn’t mean anything. Kate always said that if the writing is not immediately clear, it’s the author’s fault, not yours. She was a lifelong editor. Another ghastly invention is the QR code, where you have to rub your cell phone against something to see a menu. If the restaurant doesn’t have a real menu, I walk out.
Thankfully QR codes are so far above my abilities they aren’t yet a vexation…but if I get that far, I too will walk out
Allen, you’re going to be using your TV remote a lot in 2024. My sense is that all the irritants appearing on your screen will increase as the shows hosts continue to incorporate their own answer to the question they are asking the reporter or guest. Then the next generation of journalists & “experts” lacking media training, already evident among today’s corporate elites & academics will cause us to shake our heads about flawed speech & ignorance of the known world. I start counting the use of “well” & “like” after the third occurrence. And, I’m amused how a 20-something person often claims in their reporting that they have never seen anything so egregious in their lifetime. I wonder if the books most seem to write are equally flawed?
Allen, you’re going to be using your TV remote a lot in 2024. My sense is that all the irritants appearing on your screen will increase as the shows hosts continue to incorporate their own answer to the question they are asking the reporter or guest. Then the next generation of journalists & “experts” lacking media training, already evident among today’s corporate elites & academics will cause us to shake our heads about flawed speech & ignorance of the known world. I start counting the use of “well” & “like” after the third occurrence. And, I’m amused how a 20-something person often claims in their reporting that they have never seen anything so egregious in their lifetime. I wonder if the books most seem to write are equally flawed?
Sorry my finger double tapped.
Unfortunately I think you’re right, Don.
I completely agree with your decision to stay away from cryptocurrency — a measure of wealth that seems to be created out of thin air. But on the other hand, how many of us have actually seen our ‘real’ money these days. We rarely use coins or even bank notes — relying instead on digital transactions. We receive statements telling us what we are worth but probably none of us have ever seen it. Sure, you could probably liquidate everything and have a pile of paper that equates to your wealth, but if we all tried it at once it couldn’t be done and even then the paper only has worth if others believe in it enough to surrender tangible things in return for it. In other words, the gold standard is long gone, even our ‘real’ worth has nothing much more than belief propping it up. Perhaps not so different than cryptocurrency really. Hmmmm.
No experts on my broadcasts — or cliches. Just reporters. I know — dramatic and a tragedy. Two words I detest — and used often by blabbermouths that call themselves journos. I’ll continue (another banned word) but I’m done. I know — I’m a dinosaur.
Happy New Year, Pizzey!
Dinosaurs are us…but there’s no shame in being one…
Yep hugely irritating when every answer begins with’So..’ and ends in a question mark and let’s put ‘speaking out’ into Room 101 as well. Happy New Year!
Living in the Southern hemisphere we have the advantage of taking our long break over the so-called festive season. We have spent most of this time without signal — blissfully so — having to choose to make an effort to communicate. Long drives on dirt road mountain passes, walks on the beach and in the fynbos & swims in farm dams. I feel like I hit reset & for once it worked. The deep grief about Gaza & about children starving in Sudan & about families broken by war remains, but somehow it really feels like a new year with new possibilities. Love to you & I hope your non-resolutions are helpful.