OXYMORONS WITHOUT THE OXY
Whatever you think of Donald Trump, he’s boldly gone where none of his predecessors went before. Barely into the second month of his term, he’s made his title and name into an oxymoron that matches my all-time favourite, friendly fire.
The mere mention of his name can provoke emotions ranging from rapturous adoration a rock star would envy, to volcanic eruptions of Thesaurus-challenging negatives. His diction and cornucopia of lies and ill-considered ideas are the antithesis of the very idea of what a president of the United States is supposed to represent.
He can be so dreadful he’s actually worthy of mirth, ranging from a wry headshake to guffaws.
As appalling as the video on “Truth Social” of Trump’s “vision” for Gaza as a the Riviera is, for example, the ignorance of history on display is belly-laugh worthy.
The bad taste, front-and-center Trump aggrandisements brought to mind nothing so much as Iraq in Saddam Hussein days.
AI-generated images included a massive gold statue of Trump towering over a traffic circle, a toddler holding a large gold balloon of his head and bazaar-like gift shops lined with Trump figurines.
Over the course of dozens of reporting trips to Iraq. I counted more than 100 different statues and murals of the dictator in Baghdad alone.
Every traffic circle had a statue or a mural of him, generally of huge to epic proportion.
Every office, store and business had at least one portrait on display.
The dictator whose name translate as “powerful confronter” ended up cowering in a hole in the ground. And then he was hanged.
GENIUS IDEAS THAT AREN’T
Treating immigration like an AMEX advert isn’t on the scale of Gaza as the Riviera, but it’s trying hard. The debut of the five million dollar “Gold Card” as a Green Card Plus was heralded with the huckster hype: “It’s going to sell like crazy. It’s a bargain.” Buyers, President Trump, crowed will be “…spending a lot of money and paying a lot of taxes”.
Seriously?
The guy who never paid even close to his share of taxes, bragged that it made him smart and lauds tax cuts for the rich, thinks rich people will pay for the chance to pay taxes.
That’s on a par with the advertising slogan for the 1958 Edsel, the worst-selling car in the history of Ford: “It acts the way it looks, but it doesn’t cost that much.”
But then again, super wealthy people can be more Edsel buyers than the sharpest tools in the shed when it comes to things other than making money.
Elon Musk is the richest of them, and he thinks a chain saw is an apt symbol for taking apart bureaucracy.
Anyone who’s ever used one knows a chain saw is a brutal cutting tool that has to be used with care and precision. Otherwise, what gets taken apart is the user.
If that doesn’t make you smile a bit, fantasise about someone showing Elon how to pull the starter cord on the one he was waving around on a stage.
PERFORMANCE??
Being a presidential adviser confers a cache that ought to attract and only be granted to the most capable people available.
Elon Musk has been granted more on-display and accessibility to the Oval Office than perhaps any adviser in history.
His “What did you do last week?” e‑mail to bureaucrats, however, reminded me of my short (four months) and unlamented job as a putative soap salesman for Proctor and Gamble.
Being on the starting rung of the corporate ladder, salesmen had to log a minimum number of “personal selling accomplishments” at every store in their territory. They included hanging up balloons shaped like “Mr Clean” bottles and putting plastic product markers along shelves. Nothing was too small as a measure of job performance.
Treating career federal workers like neophyte soap peddlers makes Musk an oxyless moron.
Musk made his fortune spearheading 21st century technology.
The administration he’s shaping — and seems to be spearheading in all but title — is best summed up by the 19th century word “kakistoracy”. Coined by the English poet and writer Thomas Peacock, it means “government by the worst element of a society.”
Appropriately, its roots trace to “kakka”, an ancient Greek word meaning “to defecate”.
The pejorative wouldn’t resonate with Trump or Musk, as evidenced by the fact that in spite of both of them thinking they’re geniuses, on available evidence, neither has come across the wisdom of a man whose very name is synonymous with genius, Albert Einstein:
“Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.”
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